Soil your pants.

Well, I’m back in Baton Rouge for the week! A good friend of mine is getting married on Saturday so I thought I’d come in a few days early and hang with my people. I don’t know who all is in town. For all I know, I’m going to end up spending the whole week on the couch eating lots of ice cream all alone. No one with whom to eat ice cream. The biggest human tragedy recorded in history. We can only hope that’s not a foreshadowing of my future self.

I have good news! I have a roof over my head for the upcoming fall semester! Isn’t that just wonderful?! (It’s amazing what the prospect of not having something so common to man will do to you.) I was planning on living off campus in the fall but it just totally fell through at the end of last semester, and I really had a peace about living on campus anyway. The problem was that the whole campus was full, so if I applied I would automatically be put on a waiting list. But alas! I checked my housing status and I’ll be living on campus! Tada! I don’t know what it is, but God obviously wants me in the dorms for another year. And so there I shall be. 

It seems like every week God has something new up His sleeve to teach me. This week’s lesson has been humbling. I’ve been listening to sermons on tape ALL week. From John Piper to Francis Chan to Beth Moore to Matt Chandler. And what these men and women have to say will set your pants on fire! (Make no connection to the “liar liar” analogy.) It’s kind of like they stick a rocket up your butt and send you to the moon. And God has revealed some LIFE-CHANGING truths through their words. However, at the end of the day, I was EXHAUSTED. I didn’t think my brain could listen to another word said about Jesus, which is terrible to say! But my heart was so tuckered out. And then it hit me. These sermons do not substitute or even begin to replicate time spent in the secret places of the Heart of God. It’s not even that they “do not” substitute. It’s that they CAN NOT substitute. If you spend all your time talking about God like He’s not in the room and never actually getting vulnerable and intimate with Him, you will never go deeper. You will always be sweeping the surface of the soil, seeking desperately for the Living water which lies beneath.

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When the moon hits your eye.

I landed a job for the summer at a pizzeria in the Destin Commons. And might I say, it is mighty fine pizza. So crispy. So light. Its grand opening is scheduled for Saturday, and therefore training must commence! And it hasn’t been very fun until today. The owner made funny (aka inappropriate and slightly abrasive) jokes and I stood next to a cute boy who smelled like garage sale-ing in Ohio. Don’t ask. It just is.

My Humble Abode

It’s breezy and cool and overcast. Very rare for the middle of May in Florida. And I’ve had the house all to myself all day. Very rare for a human in the Tuttle family. So I’ve been taking advantage of the quiet day. Spent lots o’ time sitting on the swing out back, sipping on my London Fog (which my mother has gotten my HOOKED on) and just hanging with God. Struggling and strifing a bit. But it’s all good.

I got a pair of Toms and they are AWESOME, but they make my feet smell terrible.

I feel as though a general theme of my summer is going to consist of learning to abide in Him. The John 15 kind of abiding. I came across this quote the other day and it sank deep in my spirit:

“How does the branch bear fruit? Not by incessant effort for sunshine and air; not by vain struggles for those vivifying influences which give beauty to the blossom and verdure  to the leaf. It simply abides in the vine, in silent and undisturbed union and blossoms and fruit appear as of spontaneous growth.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe, How to Live on Christ.

Such a good point. A branch cannot fight to bear fruit. It can only simply BE a branch. I think to truly abide in Christ, you have to understand grace. That it doesn’t matter how “good” you are, you can’t EARN it. Jesus didn’t say “I’ll die for you when you deserve it.” It was while we were STILL sinners that Christ died for us. Paul writes in Philippians that he longs to share in the sufferings of Christ so that he might share in the death of Christ so that he might ALSO share in the LIFE of Christ. Abiding in Christ also has much to do with Col. 3:3. “For I have died and my life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Christ and his church are one. And because of that we share in his righteousness, his victory, his love, his and his abundant life.

Abiding in Him IS the Gospel.

And abiding in Him means that we get to see glory revealed. Abiding in Him aligns you with your destiny, with His purpose for YOU.

It’s like being on-call 24/7. Whenever and wherever God will use me, I’m there. Where He goes, I’ll go. What He says, I’ll say. I long to count EVERYTHING as loss, that I might gain Christ. I’m far from this, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ has made me HIS own.

Sorry this is such a scattered post. It’s heavy on my heart. And I suck at articulating things…

A Fresh Breath

Alas! Once again I’m attempting to keep a blog. Pathetic, I know. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve tried to keep over the years. It all started with LiveJournal. The good ol’ days. Back when I wished my life was like ER. Loving and living the drama. Oh dear.

I was going to try and start up my old blog again. My last post was on the last day of last semester. But between then and now, God has turned my world upside down. No way José am I going to even try to tag it on to my old blog. It’s kind of ridiculous how patient He is. He never gave up on me, even when I DESPERATELY wanted to give up on Him. Somehow I’ll catch you up on all that happened in me over the past semester. I suppose the easiest way to sum it up is a revival of the heart.

It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon. Where be my Early Grey?!