One Thing

I mess up. And I mess up a lot. These past few weeks I’ve been very aware of my shortcomings, my mistakes, my “areas in need of improvement”. I often say things I shouldn’t because they are abrasive and inappropriate. I often do things I shouldn’t because they are selfish and thoughtless.

Currently, I’m caught in a strange sandwich. One the one hand, I’m afraid of failing because the watching world will look at me and see a “bad girl” and call it hypocrisy and reject Jesus because of it. One the other hand, I’m afraid of my life looking perfect because the watching world will look at my life and see a “good girl” and call it legalism and reject Jesus because of it.

There’s a lot of theology, a lot of doctrine, a lot of concepts and ideas and opinions out there in the big world. But here’s the thing that I’m learning about being a Christian. It’s about knowing Jesus. That’s it. The end.

I can try to fix the “bad girl” in me, and I can try to free the “good girl” in me. But focusing on either misses the point. It is not about mustering up the strength to follow the rules. Neither is it about throwing the rules out the window to prove that Christians can be cool. It is about KNOWING JESUS. We get to know Him more, we fall more in love with Him, and we are transformed in the midst of it all.

Jesus fixes the “bad girl” in me. Jesus frees the “good girl” in me. My only job is to seek first the kingdom of God.

One thing I have asked of the LORD;
This I will seek
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life
To gaze upon His beauty of the LORD
And to study at His feet

- Psalm 27:4

There is freedom to fail. There is freedom to grow. There is freedom to love. When everything falls apart, God repairs. When you mess up big time, He corrects. When you don’t understand, God reveals. When you are annoyed with God because He is always asking for your heart and you don’t feel like giving it to Him, He is patient. When you give up on God, He is faithful.

Let us set our lives about One Thing: knowing God. What He likes, what He doesn’t like, what He thinks about, what He values, what He thinks of you. And be transformed.

Let me leave you with one last thing that I’m learning. We don’t yet receive the glory of a perfect relationship with God. We don’t always want God. We don’t always choose God. We don’t always believe that God loves us beyond what we could imagine. But in the midst of your apathy and your indifference, trust that God is using every moment to transform you into the likeness of Jesus (Romans 8:28-29). Every conversation, every bike ride, every time you freak out on your roommate, every time you don’t choose God, He is faithfully bringing you from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Be free.

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